Noisy Decent Graphics

New Communist Party

Is this a new political party? Or simply a new party for Communists? Whichever, hilarious it is.

 

I hate ITV

No, I mean - I really hate them.

I hate them for these good reasons:

1. Their branding (new and old).

2. All bar 2 of their programmes are terrible.

3. Their name.

4. When they did the football.

5. ITV2, ITV3, ITV4.

6. ITV News.

Today, ITV have officially launched their new branding (actually it was launched last week, but it debuted on the telly today). It's bloody awful and it's reminded me of a few other things that I hate about ITV. When I sat down and thought about it, all these things probably contribute to the dreadful identity. Those reasons one by one.

1. Their branding (new and old).

The new branding is terrible. After spending some decent cash with M&C Saatchi and loads of WPP agencies (why couldn't one handle it? why not ask Lambie Nairn for fucks sake?) ITV has come up with the following. "the BBC's image is well defined as the 'dad' figure producing programmes that are good for you, while Channel 4 is the 'cool brother'." OK fine. I get the BBC and the Ch4 analogy, it sounds like marketing speak, but it will do.

So what does ITV compare itself to? "ITV... compares its flagship channel to the pop star Robbie Williams". It gets worse, "ITV2... to Hollywood star Cameron Diaz, ITV3 to the actor Sheila Hancock and ITV4 to the James Bond actor Daniel Craig." You really have gone mad now. ITV2 just shows Coronation St repeats, ITV3 shows Darling Buds of May repeats and ITV4 just shows Jeeves and fucking Wooster repeats. What a load of rubbish.

The creative work isn't much better either.

There is absolutely nothing good about these logos. The colours are awful, the spacing is wrong, the font is horrible, the style is unsophisticated. A poor attempt by a poor brand.

2. All bar 2 of their programmes are bloody terrible.
There are two good programmes on ITV, Coronation St and X Factor. Coronation St is a brilliant piece of British drama. Creative, insightful, touching, funny, well written, well scripted and well produced. It's no surprise that it's been around for so long. The X Factor is also a brilliant piece of television. Innovative, great entertainment and it has captured the zeitgeist perfectly. The only caveat is that the single reason it's on ITV and not the BBC is because of the commercial aspect. The BBC would not be allowed to be so ruthless in their pursuit of text message revenue, commercial ties or licensing deals (don't get me wrong, the BBC can be ruthless, just not AS ruthless).

All the other programmes are awful. Badly made, badly produced, cheap, shit concepts and repeats.

3. Their name.
In last week's Indy, Greg Dyke made a valuable point, ITV's name is kind of irrelevant now. When ITV started it was the sexy, young, flexible commercial alternative to the state monolith BBC. That's why Independent Television sounded so great, almost risqué. Thing is nowadays it simply isn't the young, flexible alternative to anything. We've got Sky (who invest in programming and ideas and who innovate) we've got Five (who are downmarket but are positioned dead right) we have Channel 4 (the sexy, young, flexible alternative) and we also have digital channels. So it's hardly Independent is it? In his article Dyke says he once suggested renaming the station "Three". It wouldn't work now because of the mobile phone company, but was a great idea. (Subscription needed for the Greg Duke article).

4. When they did the football.
To be fair, I bet even the execs at ITV knew "The Premiership" would be shit.

To me this programme highlights the difference between commerical and public broadcasting. The BBC always put the best football matches on first, as you would want them to. So you might get Man U followed by Chelsea followed by Arsenal. ITV always put the best matches on last because they want you to watch the programme all the way through so they can increase the advertising revenue. So you might get Sunderland followed by Birmingham followed by Portsmouth. Which is crap and doesn't work. And that's exactly why state funded enterprises can do things that commercial enterprises shouldn't even attempt. It's the same with running the trains, the Post Office and the hospitals - some things simply don't work in the private sector.

5. ITV2, ITV3, ITV4.
No explanation needed.

6. ITV News.
When ITV News closed someone (sorry can't remember who) said that they were closing it because they needed the extra Freeview capacity for other projects. Rubbish, you closed it because it was fucking awful and no sane person would choose it over the BBC or Sky.

There, 6 reasons why I hate ITV. In a few years, I predict that Sky will buy Channel 5 and ITV will die a slow painful death. The main channels Britons will watch will be the BBC and Sky. You heard it here first. Comments?

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end."

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it."

Margaret Thatcher said this. What ever you think about her, she was right in saying this.

Don't put stuff off, do it now. Now.

Where on Earth are we going?

As a companion to "What on Earth are we doing?" I'm also planning to write a book called "Where on Earth are we going?".

This would be the cover.

Pictures of 2005

Reuters Pictures of 2005. Brilliant.

Brandweek: Best & Worst Marketing Ideas of 2005

This is good fun. Very American (it mostly talks about American ideas) but still worth a read.

It's a PDF and you can download it here.

Can you spot the Giraffe?

There is a fantastic chain of restaurants in London called Giraffe.

I was in there the other day. Take a look at this menu. Notice anything?

Well spotted, they’re placed the logo in between the patches on the giraffe’s neck. Brilliant.

Diddlediddlediddlewappbimmm

Sorry, that's just a little joke for myself and a few others. If it means anything to you please email or comment below.

"I'm a fully qualified astrologer, having had no training whatsoever"

Deborah Ross - The Independent

Beattie McGuinness Bungay (again)

I thought you might like to know that Beattie McGuinness Bungay have updated their website.

It's better (there are some really nice photographs) but it's not great.

I'm not stalking them or anything, but loads of people arrive at this site having searched for Beattie McGuinness Bungay on Google. So if that's the case you'll find the new website here: http://www.bmbagency.com/ Glad I could help.

And if you're reading this Trevor, you say that you'd like to "make the wheels turn a little bit faster" and then you call your agency BMB. Couldn't you have started with a mould breaking name? You managed it for FCUK, why couldn't you do it with your own agency?

"Why are you charging £50k for a logo and they're only charging £1k?"

I drove past the new Unicorn Theatre in Southwark the other day.

The first thing that hits you is this fantastic sculpture in the foyer.

The second thing I noticed is the logo.

Isn't that great? Witty and elegant. The design is fantastic because they haven't added any unnecessary visual gimmicks or embellishments. It doesn't need them, the idea is strong enough on it's own. To his or her credit the designer has realised that. Excellent stuff.

If you're unsure, take a look at these other logos for a Unicorn Theatre in California and Nova Scotia.

Pretty dreadful, huh? But that's what happens when you become scared of simplicity. When you're not brave enough to go with your gut instinct. This is also a brilliant example of the answer to a question designers get asked all the time, "Why are you charging £50k for a logo and they're only charging £1k?". Well, my friend, this is why. Pay decent money, commission a decent designer and get the great logo at the top of this post. Pay less, get less, like the other two logos. As always, you pays your money - you takes your choice.

The website is really nice too.

Unusually I didn't have my camera with me when I went past the Unicorn Theatre, so I've taken the photos from Flickr. Big thanks to Robert Brook for the photo of the logo and Sashinka-UK for the photo of the sculpture. If you guys don't want me to use these photos, leave a comment and I'll take them down.

The most unflattering picture of a politician ever

Picture courtesy of the Press Association and the BBC.

"Knowing what’s really happening is more important than trying to control people"

Great advice for people management from Larry Page, co-founder of Google.

"It turns out you have two choices: You can try to control people, or you can try to have a system that represents reality. I find that knowing what’s really happening is more important than trying to control people."

Brand Values vs Brand Character

This is something I've been thinking about for a while. It's only a half thought, but if I jot it down here it may jolt me into finishing it.

Everyone talks about Brand Values and everyone knows they're bullshit. What are the brand values of your organisation? Innovative? Passionate? Trustworthy? Is your organisation really innovative? Is everyone really passionate? I'm not even going to ask about trust.

OK, that's all fairly glib, but think about this. Is anyone in your organisation even trying to be innovative? Really? Does anyone aspire to be passionate? No. Exactly. So all Brand Values are bollocks. There I've said it.

Fair enough, but brands still have things that differentiate them from other brands? They still act and think differently? There are still things certain organisations do that no other organisation does. For example, a company like Google may well be innovative. Everyone that works at Innocent Drinks may well be passionate, but are they values? After all, remember that old saying, "Anyone who tells you their values doesn't have any".

So what can we call these things? What makes Innocent Drinks different from PJ Smoothies? How about we call it Brand Character.

I don't mean, "imagine your brand is a person, what kind of character would he/she have?" none of that rubbish. I mean, your brand doesn't have values it has character. So Google's character is innovative, Innocent's character is passionate. This is something more authentic than values, more integral to the organisation and something that's actually there rather than something we're trying to impose.

The only brand I can think of that probably already does this is Land Rover. One of their brand values is guts. That's not a value, that's a character trait.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions?

BBC Open News Archive

This is absolutely fucking amazing. And complete justification for the BBC's existance.

Feeling uninspired?

Apparently today is officially the worst day of the year in the UK.

Back to work, bulging waistlines, hangovers and empty wallets. Sound familiar? This is bad enough, but it's hell if you get paid to think up ideas for a living.

Try this - Creative Think. Everytime you hit refresh you get a different card. When I'm stuck for an idea, I often visit and read one of the cards, it can shake your mind up a little and get you out of that creative cul de sac you've been stuck in all morning.

Top Ten Design Blogs of 2005

As told by PSFK.

I'm not familiar with all of these, so I think I'll bookmark them and give them a try throughout January. If they're any good, I'll post the links up here.

"A waste of rations"

I had a very interesting lunch the other day. When I asked my companion what he thought of a certain person, he replied, "I've always thought he was a waste of rations".

Great stuff.

Kick out lacism

Seeing as we were talking about laces, I thought I'd show you this.

Do you think it's clever? Witty? Or incredibly naff and tasteless?

As featured on the BBC

The nice people at the BBC News website have quoted from this blog, which is very kind.

They were commenting on the UK's EU Presidency logo and they referred to my posting back in July.

So, if you've come from that BBC article; Welcome, let me show you around.

This blog is about Graphic Design. You won't find musings about the wife, husband, kids or dog. Just Graphic Design. I work in London, so it's kinda Londoncentric although I get to travel regularly.

As I believe that Graphic Design is all about ideas, you'll find more than just analysis of fonts and stuff, although there is plenty of that.

I hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to leave comments. I love that.